Why I’m Still Meditating Three Years Later
Yesterday, I completed three years of daily meditation.
I can’t think of a stronger endorsement, than to have meditated again today.
This started out of desperation. My mind was no match for my life. Start-up stress and a lingering concussion were conquering my happiness and self-worth. I had dabbled with meditation until then, but only when a mentor hit 800 days, did I decide I could do at least 30.
In the first weeks, I noticed something. My thoughts. Specifically, negative self-talk. It was the beginning of a transformation from self-flagellation to self-acceptance, as I went from noticing the chatter after it happened, to noticing it as it happened, and to eventually just not doing it at all.
Changes were also occurring in my relationships with others. Conversations with the people I loved would be blown up by Amygdala Hijacks - “a personal, emotional response that is immediate, overwhelming, and out of measure with the actual stimulus because it has triggered a much more significant emotional threat (Wikipedia).“ You may know it as “losing it.” The Hijack then escalates others, resulting in both sides saying things they would never say under calmer conditions. Now however, I notice when I’m agitated, and can de-escalate before things derail.
Daily focusing on my breath is practice for focussing on others. I just listen way better now. Sometimes a word or two into an unneeded pronouncement, I’ll pivot to asking the person an open question. No one has complained with more interest being taken in their life.
On the macro level, I better notice when I’m stressed, or tired, and can respond by giving myself the care I need to show up well for others.
But as a multi-decade mindfulness leader said - the best way to know if it's working, is to ask those around you.
Well. My wife says she was proposed to by a 7, but married a 9. That’s interesting...
A former business partner said “I think he knows, but he may not really know just how much he's changed. He used to be a hustler and now he's basically a zen master.”
And a new friend and colleague messaged me recently to say - “you are so calm. It’s tremendous.” This would be shocking to someone who knew me a decade ago.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from meditating over the last three years, it is that you are not your thoughts. You can change your mind, your character, and your life.
It’s hard to know what would happen if I stopped meditating. But honestly, I have no intention of finding out.
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P.S. A next post will talk about the lessons learned on maintaining a regular practice. Stay tuned if interested, or reach out any time to talk about starting your meditation journey.